Mingle with Singles Event

The BEST is yet to come

Author/Founder of ICH Enterprises, Certified Accounting Technician with the Association of Chartered Certified Accountants, London and Board member of the PACE Foundation.  With all these accolades, who would have believed that I was once a teen-mother.

It all started some 23 years ago but I can remember it like it was yesterday. From the moment I met him, he envisioned everything that I’d dreamed of; that is until I got pregnant.  My parents were devastated!  I was totally clueless as to how this one decision would drastically change my life.  To add insult to injury, my indiscretion came at a time when premature pregnancy was considered taboo (nothing like nowadays).  I had to leave school, friends and activities that had meant so much to me behind.  

The *PACE Foundation was the light at the end of a dark tunnel. They provided an avenue for me to redeem myself and move forward towards a better and brighter future for me and my unborn child.

*The PACE Foundation is a non-profit organization incorporated to support the PACE Programme of the Bahamas Ministry of Education whose goals are as follows: To ensure that teen mothers have the opportunity to complete high school To reduce the incidence of repeat pregnancy among teen mothers To improve the quality of life for teenage mothers and their babies To use the lessons of teen mothers to inform stakeholders of the ways to prevent teen pregnancies Website: http://www.pacebahamas.com/Home.html

To those of you out there who may find yourself in a similar situation, please note that this is NOT the end.  Whoever told you that your life is over - - - -lied!!   God still has an awesome plan for you. The bible states in 1Corinthians 2:9 “Eyes hath not seen, ears hath not heard, neither has it entered into the hearts of man the plans God has for those that love Him.”

On my completion of the PACE Programme, I returned to public school and secured a part-time job to support my child.  While others were enjoying their long summer vacations, I worked full-time to ensure that I had everything that I needed for the next school semester.

I must be totally honest with you by saying that it wasn’t at all easy. I wanted to give up many days and have made lots of mistakes along the way.   Many were convinced that my life was over. I lost some friends, family members gave up on me and even the baby’s father walked away.  

But by God’s grace - - -I made it and You can too!

With faith in God, hard work and determination, the Best is yet to come.

Paulette P. Stubbs

Who Am I? by Paulette P. Stubbs, Author & Founder of ICH Enterprises

WHO AM I?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and quietly asked yourself the question: ‘Who Am I?”  These three simple words will compel even the most intelligent of persons to think for a minute.

But before you answer, I would like for you to firstly dismiss every LIE that the world, your friends, your ex’s or even your family members have sold you over the years. Secondly, destroy and un-create all the negative labels that have followed you from your childhood, assaulted you through middle-school and became the irritating third-wheel in every intimate relationship you’ve had.

The world, too often make the mistake of attributing a person’s worth by what they do for a living or by what they have done in the past. At reunions we proudly flash our business cards with endless professional labels and boast of our accomplishments as if this will somehow validate our existence to others.

Our value is NOT derived from:

Profession or job

·        Education

·        Accomplishments (no matter how great they are)

·        Physical appearance (Ethnicity, Race, Weight, etc.)

·        Geographical location (suburbs, ghetto, etc.)

·        Financial Landscape (wealthy, on-welfare, debt)

·        Possessions

·        Marital Status (Single, Divorced, Married)

·        Personal/Professional Network

Our value is NOT diminished by events e.g.:

·        Lost your job

·        Homeless

·        Bankrupt

·        Suffered abuse, rape, incest, etc.

·        Single (as the world portrays singleness)

·        Made poor choices

·        ___________________Fill in the blank, etc.

How is it that we seek to be affirmed by our jobs, relationships, the media and everything else except by the very one that hold the blueprint for our lives?  Can you see the irony in this unfortunate mindset?

New Self-Reality Consciousness

Our value comes from our Creator: God and his original intent for our existence are found in his Word.  Each of us has been endowed by God with a unique S.E.L.F. purpose and gifting to share with the world.  I have used the below acronym to illustrate the definition of SELF below:

S olo :                 Unique, individual

E valuation of:      Worth, significance,           

L ife:                   Existence, being

F unction:            Purpose, role, meaning

We must endeavor to re-frame our reality with what is TRUE, PURE, NOBLE and LIFE-GIVING (Phil 4:8). With this in mind, let’s discover some of the truths found in God’s Word about who WE really are:

What GOD says about YOU	Scripture reference
LOVED & CHOSEN	1 Thes. 1:4, Col 3:12
WHOLE  AND  COMPLETE	Col 2:10
FAIRFULLY & WONDERFULLY MADE	Ps. 139.14
FULL OF LOVE, POWER & A SOUND MIND	2 Tim 1:7
A TREASURED POSSESSION	Deut 7:6
MORE THAN A CONQUEROR	Rom 8:17
FREE FROM WEAKNESSES & DISEASE	Matt 8:17
BOLD AS A LION	Prov 28:1
A FRIEND OF JESUS	John 15:15
SUPPLIED WITH EVERYTHING I NEED	Phil 4:19
BLESSED WITH ALL SPIRITUAL BLESSINGS	Eph 1:3
ACCEPTED	Rom 15:7
AMBASSADOR	2 Cor 5:20
ALWAYS TRIUMPHANT IN EVERY SITUATION	2 Cor 2:14

When you don't know who you are, you are more likely to be subjected to the views and impositions of who you should be.

Secrets to living your BEST life Now!

July is a very special month,  Do you know why? Yes, it is the Ultimate Singles Event: Loving life & Living Well (the only event of its kind where we totally focus on motivating & inspiring thousands of Singles with the message of living their BEST life now! ) We have significantly lowered the registration for this event in order to better serve you. That in and of itself makes it special, but it's extra extra special because July is the month of my birthday! And I can't wait to celebrate it with YOU, the Ultimate Singles Event attendees. This is THE must-attend, I-don't-care-what-you-gotta-do-just-be-there event of the year.  It's going to be an exciting time.  This is the uncut, unedited version and we're giving you the REAL TRUTH about what it takes to be a successful single, manifest your dreams and Stand in Your true POWER.  Click to Join us at the ULTIMATE Singles Event. Can you feel my excitement? Get ready to live your best life possible! Loving life & living Well Paulette P. Stubbs

ICHEnterprises @ICHEnterprises Refresh|Rebuild|Restore Paulette P. Stubbs Copyright © 2013 ICH Enterprises, All rights reserved. We send Special offers to customers who opted in at our website or social network page. Our mailing address is: ICH Enterprises West Bay Street Nassau SP-61514 Bahamas

Ultimate SINGLES Event: Loving Life & Living Well

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Total Success Empowerment Guide

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Quote of the Month 3 - Don't Just PRAY! :: Refresh|Rebuild|Restore

Quote of the Month 3 - Don't Just PRAY! :: Refresh|Rebuild|Restore

STAND on your Past:

No matter how deep we’ve buried the skeletons of our past, somehow they always seem to find their way to the forefront the very moment we are about to do something great. All with the ultimate goal of making us feel inadequate or that we are not good enough because of the challenges we have walked through.

Yes, All of that stuff that we have done everything humanly possible to keep hidden. The:
• Failed relationship, after relationship, after relationship
• Abuse
• Incarceration
• Bankruptcy
• Mental breakdown
• Fill in the BLANK________ Y.A.N.A. (You are not alone)

I truly believe that:
It is in our humanity and imperfections that we will save the world
It is in our transparency that we you give everyone else in our space permission to breathe a little.
It is in our setbacks, struggles, breakdowns and triumphs that we will show others that they too can have a breakthrough.

But, TODAY is the day for us to make peace with our past and for some of us, a final Rest In Peace (R.I.P) to our past. NOW is the time for you to Stand ON your Past (not IN it). Embrace it. Use all of it (good, bad & the ugly) as the fuel to propel you forward.

The moment you get out of your own way and put All apologies aside, that is when you will begin to unleash your true POWER.

Domestic Violence Survivor & Author of 'It Could Happen To You' shares her story part 2

http://www.amazon.com/Paulette-P.-Stubbs/e/B005HJ3RL8


JOIN ME IN TAKING A STAND AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: 

Email me at: ichenterprises@yahoo.com to take a BOLD stand against Abuse. In the subject line type 'STAND-UP'  to let me know that we are partners in the fight against Abuse.  

Domestic Violence Survivor & Author of 'It Could Happen To You' shares her story part 1

www.itcudhappen2you.webnode.com
http://www.amazon.com/Paulette-P.-Stubbs/e/B005HJ3RL8

JOIN ME IN TAKING A STAND AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: 

Email me at: ichenterprises@yahoo.com to take a BOLD stand against Abuse. In the subject line type 'STAND-UP'  to let me know that we are partners in the fight against Abuse.  

WEBNODE :: STOP the SILENCE on Domestic Violence campaign :: Refresh|Rebuild|Restore

JOIN ME IN TAKING A STAND AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: 

Email me at: ichenterprises@yahoo.com to take a BOLD stand against Abuse. In the subject line type 'STAND-UP'  to let me know that we are partners in the fight against Abuse.  

Paulette P. Stubbs, Domestic Violence Survivor & Author of ‘It Could Happen to You: surviving the secret shame of domestic violence’ was one of the faces featured in the STOP THE SILENCE on Domestic Violence campaign hosted by a local help centre.

Watch her story of triump:

Part 1 of 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Wps2T_7UHE
Part 2 of 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFdccGmmmVc

'S' in the City by Paulette P. Stubbs

Now, now, before you get all hot and bothered, let me be the first to say that the “S” word in my title is not SEX. This “S” word however, packs an equally  controversial punch so to speak. The word is, drum-roll please…………..SINGLE.

In today’s marriage-centered world being Single, especially single over 30 years of age has been stigmatized with much negativity. I am always blown away by the level of pressure that friends, family and even the religious community often place upon the shoulders of single persons to be married. Is our society threatened by Singles? Should Singleness be pitied and looked upon as a condition that needs to be cured?

There are three basic categories of singles:

1. Those who never married (includes single parents).

2. Singles as a result of divorce.

3. Single after the death of a spouse.

Whatever category you may fall in, know that Singleness should be embraced with open arms not frowned upon. It is a time of true self discovery, self development and self empowerment.

For those who may find themselves as the artist Trina sang: “Single again”, you will find that the rules of dating as we knew them have drastically changed.

One can only reminisce of the days when the dating process meant as one article illustrates:

‘A well-dressed single gentleman pulls up to the front of a single lady’s home in the early evening, steps out of his car and approaches her front door. The two of them were introduced to one another by a mutual friend at a social function some weeks prior- -it is their first date.’

‘As she steps outside (looking flawless I might add), he offers an umbrella to shield her from rain showers, walks with her to the passenger side of the car, and opens the door for her. She notices the interior of the car is spotless.’

‘The pair takes a scenic route to a special destination” a reserved table at an elegant restaurant. Conversation flows naturally for a couple hours, with each beginning to learn about the background and interests of the other. After dessert, the gentleman pays for the meal and then drives the lady home. Accompanying her to her door, he thanks her with a warm smile and departs. Leaving her captivated and longing for more.’ Sounds like a Harlequin romance novel doesn’t it?

Fast-forward to the present:

Over the decades, traditional dating has gradually been overtaken by blind-dating, speed-dating, online dating sites, Social networking and text messaging. No wonder the chances of being asked out on a ‘real’ date seems so far and few in between. It amazes me how we confidently broadcast our lives to the world via You-tube and Face-book, yet in actual social settings, we seem to have absolutely nothing meaningful to say to each other  face to face. We don’t take the time to meet, greet and establish lasting connections, but instead have settled for nothing more than a game of ‘Bait & Mate’ (or should I say check-mate?). While this type of practice may be acceptable for the animal kingdom, humans on the other hand are relational beings that crave a much deeper level of connection,  at least the normal ones that is.

It is truly a sad day when intelligent, professional individuals find no other option than resorting to bar-hopping and night-clubbing; succumbing to one night-stands and ‘hook-ups’ with those I like to call un-date-able. We are simply putting the cart before the horse and ending up nowhere fast. Even some of the popular TV shows and movies we enjoy have traded in traditional dating practices for ‘Single Ladies,’ ‘Sex & the City’ and Friends with Benefits.’ This is definitely and ugly truth if I say so myself.

FOR LADIES ONLY:

While the 1960’s Feminist movement brought about enormous social gains for women in areas of employment, education and politics, etc, it has consequently brought with it much back-lash which we are still experiencing today. No matter how aggressive and in-charge you are on the job, a woman will NEVER be successful at dating if she is playing the game like a MAN...full stop! Don’t get me wrong ladies, I am all for my strong, professional, independent women. But ladies, do you honestly believe that you CAN do everything like a MAN does? Even if for some strange reason you could, would you really want to?

Studies have shown that the release of Oxytocin (known as the “bonding chemical”) during sexual activity promotes emotional attachment within the female regardless of whether she intends to become attached to that person or not. How’s  that for ‘no-strings-attached?’

Dating should be a time for information gathering not mating. It is NOT for the weak in heart, desperate or wounded. Yes...I said it. If you fall in any one the these categories, it may be a good idea to deal with your personal issues and heal first before inviting unsuspecting guests to your pity-party. I don’t mean to be harsh but, we prepare for retirement, map out our education/career paths and even prepare for death. So why haven’t we invested the same amount of time and dedication to preparing ourselves for dating?

A recent article in the New York Times said: “Choosing a mate, the potential mother or father of your children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren is one of life’s most important decisions…..”  Yet we enter this important stage in our lives without preparation, just winging-it hap-hazardly….resulting in a series of unfortunate events.

Dating Preparedness Guide:

Here are a few dating preparedness tips:

1. Stop being a Scrooge and bury the ghosts of relationship’s past:

There is an old fable that states: ‘the quickest way to get over an old boyfriend/girlfriend is to get under a new one.’ As funny as this may sound, some use this as common practice, only to discover they have jumped from one bad break-up into another, collecting tonnes of baggage and bad learned-behavior with it. If we hope to break the break-up cycle, we must take a moment to reflect honestly on what our contribution was to the un-timely death of the relationship. Remember: ‘A Fool returns to his old mistakes without reflection but the Wise learneth from his mistakes through much reflection.’

2. Confront your inner demons:

We all know the lyrics of “Who the Cap Fit’ by the legend Bob Marley: ‘your worst enemy could be your best friend and your best friend your worst enemy…’ But sometimes our worst enemy may just as well be our ‘inner-me’s’ (ourselves).

3. Got skills…?

You  may have graduated Magna Cum Laude from university but when it comes to relationships you’re a Magna Cum Nada. Take some time to brush up on your relational skills (i.e. communication, conflict resolution, time & financial management). Studies suggest that these skills may assist in reducing incidents of Expressive violence in relationships.

4. Find your S.E.L.F (to be expounded in the next edition)

Become truly comfortable and confident (not arrogant) with who and what you are.

Remember: Practice does NOT make perfect rather, Perfect Practice makes Perfect. Let’s return dating right-side up.

ABOUT THE WRITER

  

Paulette P. Stubbs is an Author, Domestic Violence Survivor, Speaker, CEO & the Founder of ICH Enterprises an independent organization whose aim is to educate & equip with the tools necessary to make healthy lifestyle choices. She is a board member of the PACE Foundation and a regularly featured guest  speaker on various radio, TV shows  and civic organizations. 

FEEDBACK: If you thought this article was helpful, I would love to hear your feedback. 

Email your comments to: ichenterprises@yahoo.com and together let's turn dating right-side up.