Sunday 29 September 2013
Friday 26 July 2013
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The BEST is yet to come
Author/Founder of ICH Enterprises,
Certified Accounting Technician with the Association of Chartered Certified
Accountants, London and Board member of the PACE Foundation. With all these accolades, who would have
believed that I was once a teen-mother.
It all started some 23 years ago
but I can remember it like it was yesterday. From the moment I met him, he
envisioned everything that I’d dreamed of; that is until I got pregnant. My parents were devastated! I was totally clueless as to how this one decision
would drastically change my life. To add
insult to injury, my indiscretion came
at a time when premature pregnancy was considered taboo (nothing like nowadays). I had to leave school, friends and activities
that had meant so much to me behind.
The *PACE Foundation was the light
at the end of a dark tunnel. They provided an avenue for me to redeem myself
and move forward towards a better and brighter future for me and my unborn
child.
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*The PACE Foundation is a non-profit organization
incorporated to support the PACE Programme of the Bahamas Ministry of
Education whose goals are as follows:
Website: http://www.pacebahamas.com/Home.html
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To those of you out there who may
find yourself in a similar situation, please note that this is NOT the end. Whoever told you that your life is over - - -
-lied!! God still has an awesome plan for you. The
bible states in 1Corinthians 2:9 “Eyes
hath not seen, ears hath not heard, neither has it entered into the hearts of
man the plans God has for those that love Him.”
On my completion of the PACE
Programme, I returned to public school and secured a part-time job to support
my child. While others were enjoying
their long summer vacations, I worked full-time to ensure that I had everything
that I needed for the next school semester.
I must be totally honest with you by
saying that it wasn’t at all easy. I wanted to give up many days and have made
lots of mistakes along the way. Many
were convinced that my life was over. I lost some friends, family members gave
up on me and even the baby’s father walked away.
But by God’s grace - - -I made it
and You can too!
With faith in God, hard work and
determination, the Best is yet to come.
Monday 8 July 2013
Who Am I? by Paulette P. Stubbs, Author & Founder of ICH Enterprises
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WHO AM I?
Have you ever looked in the mirror and quietly asked yourself the
question: ‘Who Am I?” These three simple words will compel even the
most intelligent of persons to think for a minute.
But before you answer, I would like for you to firstly dismiss every
LIE that the world, your friends, your ex’s or even your family members have sold you over the years. Secondly, destroy
and un-create all the negative labels that have followed you from your childhood,
assaulted you through middle-school and became the irritating third-wheel in every intimate
relationship you’ve had.
The world, too
often make the mistake of attributing a person’s worth by what they do for a
living or by what they have done in the past. At reunions we proudly flash our
business cards with endless professional labels
and boast of our accomplishments as if this will somehow validate our existence
to others.
Our value is NOT derived from:
Profession or job
· Education
· Accomplishments (no matter how
great they are)
· Physical appearance (Ethnicity,
Race, Weight, etc.)
· Geographical location (suburbs,
ghetto, etc.)
· Financial Landscape (wealthy,
on-welfare, debt)
· Possessions
· Marital Status (Single,
Divorced, Married)
· Personal/Professional Network
Our value is NOT
diminished by events e.g.:
· Lost your job
· Homeless
· Bankrupt
· Suffered
abuse, rape, incest, etc.
· Single (as the
world portrays singleness)
· Made poor
choices
· ___________________Fill
in the blank, etc.
How
is it that we seek to be affirmed by our jobs, relationships, the media and
everything else except by the very
one that hold the blueprint for our lives?
Can you see the irony in this unfortunate mindset?
New
Self-Reality Consciousness
Our value comes
from our Creator: God and his original intent for our existence are found in
his Word. Each of us has been endowed by
God with a unique S.E.L.F. purpose and gifting to share with the world. I
have used the below acronym to illustrate the definition of SELF below:
S olo : Unique, individual
E valuation of: Worth, significance,
L ife: Existence, being
F unction: Purpose, role, meaning
We must endeavor to
re-frame our reality with what is TRUE, PURE, NOBLE and LIFE-GIVING (Phil 4:8).
With this in mind, let’s discover some of the truths found in God’s Word about
who WE really are:
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What GOD says about YOU
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Scripture reference
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LOVED
& CHOSEN
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1
Thes. 1:4, Col 3:12
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WHOLE AND
COMPLETE
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Col
2:10
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FAIRFULLY
& WONDERFULLY MADE
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Ps.
139.14
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FULL
OF LOVE, POWER & A SOUND MIND
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2
Tim 1:7
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A
TREASURED POSSESSION
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Deut
7:6
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MORE
THAN A CONQUEROR
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Rom
8:17
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FREE
FROM WEAKNESSES & DISEASE
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Matt
8:17
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BOLD
AS A LION
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Prov
28:1
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A
FRIEND OF JESUS
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John
15:15
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SUPPLIED
WITH EVERYTHING I NEED
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Phil
4:19
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BLESSED
WITH ALL SPIRITUAL BLESSINGS
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Eph
1:3
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ACCEPTED
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Rom
15:7
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AMBASSADOR
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2
Cor 5:20
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ALWAYS
TRIUMPHANT IN EVERY SITUATION
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2
Cor 2:14
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Saturday 15 June 2013
Secrets to living your BEST life Now!
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Tuesday 11 June 2013
Thursday 6 June 2013
Monday 3 June 2013
Wednesday 22 May 2013
STAND on your Past:
No matter how deep we’ve buried the skeletons of our past, somehow they always seem to find their way to the forefront the very moment we are about to do something great. All with the ultimate goal of making us feel inadequate or that we are not good enough because of the challenges we have walked through.
Yes, All of that stuff that we have done everything humanly possible to keep hidden. The:
• Failed relationship, after relationship, after relationship
• Abuse
• Incarceration
• Bankruptcy
• Mental breakdown
• Fill in the BLANK________ Y.A.N.A. (You are not alone)
I truly believe that:
It is in our humanity and imperfections that we will save the world
It is in our transparency that we you give everyone else in our space permission to breathe a little.
It is in our setbacks, struggles, breakdowns and triumphs that we will show others that they too can have a breakthrough.
But, TODAY is the day for us to make peace with our past and for some of us, a final Rest In Peace (R.I.P) to our past. NOW is the time for you to Stand ON your Past (not IN it). Embrace it. Use all of it (good, bad & the ugly) as the fuel to propel you forward.
The moment you get out of your own way and put All apologies aside, that is when you will begin to unleash your true POWER.
No matter how deep we’ve buried the skeletons of our past, somehow they always seem to find their way to the forefront the very moment we are about to do something great. All with the ultimate goal of making us feel inadequate or that we are not good enough because of the challenges we have walked through.
Yes, All of that stuff that we have done everything humanly possible to keep hidden. The:
• Failed relationship, after relationship, after relationship
• Abuse
• Incarceration
• Bankruptcy
• Mental breakdown
• Fill in the BLANK________ Y.A.N.A. (You are not alone)
I truly believe that:
It is in our humanity and imperfections that we will save the world
It is in our transparency that we you give everyone else in our space permission to breathe a little.
It is in our setbacks, struggles, breakdowns and triumphs that we will show others that they too can have a breakthrough.
But, TODAY is the day for us to make peace with our past and for some of us, a final Rest In Peace (R.I.P) to our past. NOW is the time for you to Stand ON your Past (not IN it). Embrace it. Use all of it (good, bad & the ugly) as the fuel to propel you forward.
The moment you get out of your own way and put All apologies aside, that is when you will begin to unleash your true POWER.
Monday 13 May 2013
Domestic Violence Survivor & Author of 'It Could Happen To You' shares her story part 2
http://www.amazon.com/Paulette-P.-Stubbs/e/B005HJ3RL8
JOIN ME IN TAKING A STAND AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
Email me at: ichenterprises@yahoo.com to take a BOLD stand against Abuse. In the subject line type 'STAND-UP' to let me know that we are partners in the fight against Abuse.
Domestic Violence Survivor & Author of 'It Could Happen To You' shares her story part 1
www.itcudhappen2you.webnode.com
http://www.amazon.com/Paulette-P.-Stubbs/e/B005HJ3RL8
JOIN ME IN TAKING A STAND AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
http://www.amazon.com/Paulette-P.-Stubbs/e/B005HJ3RL8
JOIN ME IN TAKING A STAND AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
Email me at: ichenterprises@yahoo.com to take a BOLD stand against Abuse. In the subject line type 'STAND-UP' to let me know that we are partners in the fight against Abuse.
Sunday 12 May 2013
WEBNODE :: STOP the SILENCE on Domestic Violence campaign :: Refresh|Rebuild|Restore
JOIN ME IN TAKING A STAND AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
Email me at: ichenterprises@yahoo.com to take a BOLD stand against Abuse. In the subject line type 'STAND-UP' to let me know that we are partners in the fight against Abuse.
Paulette P. Stubbs, Domestic Violence Survivor & Author of ‘It Could Happen to You: surviving the secret shame of domestic violence’ was one of the faces featured in the STOP THE SILENCE on Domestic Violence campaign hosted by a local help centre.
Watch her story of triump:
Part 1 of 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Wps2T_7UHE
Part 2 of 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFdccGmmmVc
'S' in the City by Paulette P. Stubbs
Now, now, before you get all hot and bothered, let me be the first to say that the “S” word in my title is not SEX. This “S” word however, packs an equally controversial punch so to speak. The word is, drum-roll please…………..SINGLE.
In today’s marriage-centered world being Single, especially single over 30 years of age has been stigmatized with much negativity. I am always blown away by the level of pressure that friends, family and even the religious community often place upon the shoulders of single persons to be married. Is our society threatened by Singles? Should Singleness be pitied and looked upon as a condition that needs to be cured?
There are three basic categories of singles:
1. Those who never married (includes single parents).
2. Singles as a result of divorce.
3. Single after the death of a spouse.
Whatever category you may fall in, know that Singleness should be embraced with open arms not frowned upon. It is a time of true self discovery, self development and self empowerment.
For those who may find themselves as the artist Trina sang: “Single again”, you will find that the rules of dating as we knew them have drastically changed.
One can only reminisce of the days when the dating process meant as one article illustrates:
‘A well-dressed single gentleman pulls up to the front of a single lady’s home in the early evening, steps out of his car and approaches her front door. The two of them were introduced to one another by a mutual friend at a social function some weeks prior- -it is their first date.’
‘As she steps outside (looking flawless I might add), he offers an umbrella to shield her from rain showers, walks with her to the passenger side of the car, and opens the door for her. She notices the interior of the car is spotless.’
‘The pair takes a scenic route to a special destination” a reserved table at an elegant restaurant. Conversation flows naturally for a couple hours, with each beginning to learn about the background and interests of the other. After dessert, the gentleman pays for the meal and then drives the lady home. Accompanying her to her door, he thanks her with a warm smile and departs. Leaving her captivated and longing for more.’ Sounds like a Harlequin romance novel doesn’t it?
Fast-forward to the present:
Over the decades, traditional dating has gradually been overtaken by blind-dating, speed-dating, online dating sites, Social networking and text messaging. No wonder the chances of being asked out on a ‘real’ date seems so far and few in between. It amazes me how we confidently broadcast our lives to the world via You-tube and Face-book, yet in actual social settings, we seem
It is truly a sad day when intelligent, professional individuals find no other option than resorting to bar-hopping and night-clubbing; succumbing to one night-stands and ‘hook-ups’ with those I like to call un-date-able. We are simply putting the cart before the horse and ending up nowhere fast. Even some of the popular TV shows and movies we enjoy have traded in traditional dating practices for ‘Single Ladies,’ ‘Sex & the City’ and Friends with Benefits.’ This is definitely and ugly truth if I say so myself.
FOR LADIES ONLY:
While the 1960’s Feminist movement brought about enormous social gains for women in areas of employment, education and politics, etc, it has consequently brought with it much back-lash which we are still experiencing today. No matter how aggressive and in-charge you are on the job, a woman will NEVER be successful at dating if she is playing the game like a MAN...full stop! Don’t get me wrong ladies, I am all for my strong, professional, independent women. But ladies, do you honestly believe that you CAN do everything like a MAN does? Even if for some strange reason you could, would you really want to?
Studies have shown that the release of Oxytocin (known as the “bonding chemical”) during sexual activity promotes emotional attachment within the female regardless of whether she intends to become attached to that person or not. How’s
Dating should be a time for information gathering not mating. It is NOT for the weak in heart, desperate or wounded. Yes...I said it. If you fall in any one the these categories, it may be a good idea to deal with your personal issues and heal first before inviting unsuspecting guests to your pity-party. I don’t mean to be harsh but, we prepare for retirement, map out our education/career paths and even prepare for death.
A recent article in the New York Times said: “Choosing a mate, the potential mother or father of your children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren is one of life’s most important decisions…..” Yet we enter this important stage in our lives without preparation, just winging-it hap-hazardly….resulting in a series of unfortunate events.
Dating Preparedness Guide:
Here are a few dating preparedness tips:
1. Stop being a Scrooge and bury the ghosts of relationship’s past:
There is an old fable that states: ‘the quickest way to get over an old boyfriend/girlfriend is to get under a new one.’ As funny as this may sound, some use this as common practice, only to discover they have jumped from one bad break-up into another, collecting tonnes of baggage and bad learned-behavior with it. If we hope to break the break-up cycle, we must take a moment to reflect honestly on what our contribution was to the un-timely death of the relationship. Remember: ‘A Fool returns to his old mistakes without reflection but the Wise learneth from his mistakes through much reflection.’
2. Confront your inner demons:
We all know the lyrics of “Who the Cap Fit’ by the legend Bob Marley: ‘your worst enemy could be your best friend and your best friend your worst enemy…’ But sometimes our worst enemy may just as well be our ‘inner-me’s’ (ourselves).
3. Got skills…?
You may have graduated Magna Cum Laude from university but when it comes to relationships you’re a Magna Cum Nada. Take some time to brush up on your relational skills (i.e. communication, conflict resolution, time & financial management). Studies suggest that these skills may assist in reducing incidents of Expressive violence in relationships.
4. Find your S.E.L.F (to be expounded in the next edition)
Become truly comfortable and confident (not arrogant) with who and what you are.
Remember: Practice does NOT make perfect rather, Perfect Practice makes Perfect. Let’s return dating right-side up.
ABOUT THE WRITER
Paulette P. Stubbs is an Author, Domestic Violence Survivor, Speaker, CEO & the Founder of ICH Enterprises an independent organization whose aim is to educate & equip with the tools necessary to make healthy lifestyle choices. She is a board member of the PACE Foundation and a regularly featured guest speaker on various radio, TV shows and civic organizations.
FEEDBACK: If you thought this article was helpful, I would love to hear your feedback.
Email your comments to: ichenterprises@yahoo.com and together let's turn dating right-side up.
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